There’s also ”we do machine learning”, which usually translates to ”someone trained an SVM model 10 years ago”.
It’s a useless fiction for hiring, but highly effective for getting money from the dumber investors.
Minimum qualifications:
- master’s degree (or preferably PhD) in computer science, computer engineering, or related field.
- 15 years of experience in developing finite element modeling simulations and implementing them as embedded, real time, distributed, and multithreaded applications.
- Proficiency in the following languages: Python, C, C++, Rust, Ruby, MATLAB, Visual Basic, C#, JavaScript, R, PHP, Perl, Go, and Swift. COBOL is a plus.
The actual job
- Write an html page for our team on our website.
Qualification inflation and no other suitable opportunities.
Employers have blatantly ridiculous demands because they will find people who cater to these demands in a shit system and shit economy.
I mean, just because they post an ad for a rocket surgeon doesn’t mean they find one. At least in the US, compsci professionals do not have any trouble finding work.
I’ve been looking for 8 months… I’ve applied for over 100 positions and had one first round interview.
There is definitely trouble in the CS job market right now. I spoke to a recruiter who had no new jobs on their desk in two months.
“We must first implement base functionality, then we will add all the auxiliary components.”
x months pass
“Alright, base functionality has been implemented and it works. Good job team, lets ship it!”
Hey, do I work for you?
Straight up jenkin it
and by “it” I mean … well … my
pipeline
A friend of mine was applying for a job where they required “at least 5 years knowledge with Angular version X.Y.Z” (can’t remember the exact version, but they asked for all three numbers).
He said “I’ve got 7 years of knowledge with version X-2 to X+2”.
The HR person was like “But you don’t have 5 years of knowledge with version X.Y.Z, so you don’t fit for the job”.
The real fun part was that version X.Y.Z had only been out for two years at that time.
A person who created a thing (language or similar) pointed out that a job listing wanted more experience than time that the thing had existed.
Bogus job description because no-one was actually needed but the budget must be kept?
And HR/employement person didnt know (or did) better and thus decided lile that?Tech recruiters really can be this dumb. I’ve been on both ends several times.
I remember hiring for a test dev, writing the description for the recruiter, I included all the things I’d like to see. Python, test automation experience, open source contributions etc (this was for a public facing repo).
I get back a question a day later asking if they need Java or not. That felt really out of place so I walked over and had a conversation. Turns out they were filtering out anyone who had more than requested. Python AND Java experience? No thank you.
On the upside once we ironed that out I ended up hiring two people I’ve been friends with for a decade+. Sometimes the recruiters just need help.
Now the other side of things…I’ve definitely had recruiters screw up and lose very good candidates, but it was always for stupid shit like they forgot to send the offer letter for a week or they accidentally put them in the “no” pile.
Heh, this one time we got a recruiter ping our team out of the blue saying they had a candidate. No one knew what the hell the position was for. Turns out the recruiters had forgot about a bunch of openings we had closed like a year before, they just never took down the postings. We asked him how he found the job, and the candidate said he manual went through the thousands of open positions until he found one that fit him. He hired him after the first round and he turned out to be awesome.
