I’ve heard if you use fresh fried chips the don’t get soggy but I just toast my regular tortilla chips in the toaster oven and that seems to make them hold up really well :)

The first was in reference to when someone expresses an idea you don’t understand or a perspective you don’t share, and the latter was about the tendency to just keep scrolling and say nothing even when you like a post or comment, but I can see why you interpreted them that way.

In my experience when someone is expressing their thoughts they generally take kindly to folks asking them about why they see things the way they do 🤷‍♂️

You know what, I can respect that take. I was trying to tailor things to my audience, you’re not wrong though :)

I agree. You can get a lot of positive reinforcement from sincere positive engagement (this post gave me lots, lol 😅) but it’s exhausting work compared to just making a snide jab. And that really does profoundly shape peoples behavior over time.

I’m a BIG believer in the idea that the medium makes the message, and how we design the mechanics of this space shapes how we behave. Erin kissane has talked about that some in her work studying the fediverse and it’s really stuck with me.

Its definitely rough, I can understand why. I live in the US and as a queer person whose loved ones are almost all minorities the outlook is feeling pretty bleak, but its definitely frustrating that it feels like even slightly different left wing ideas, or thoughts on what we do about our problems can spawn flamewars.

Literally with people you’re in the exact same camp with :/ I’m also big on political debate, I think democracy can’t function unless people can discuss with eachother what problems we have and what we think we should do about them. (And yes, I know we increasingly may not have much of democracy here in the US. I still think my statement is true of how democracy functions in general)

I think it’s really valuable to learn how people arive at worldviews other than mine.

Yeah, if I don’t have the answer I usually just stop in to say I hope someone more knowledgeable can chime in and wish them luck.

That way the post at least gets a little engagement for visibility. But the “rtfm” attitude, while understandable, can be really miserable to be met with when you’re out of your depth doing your best to learn about something new and need some help from another actual human.

We all begrudge the automated phone systems that try to reduce the need for human beings by helping people with simple problems, and that approach to helping people exists for good reason but it does feel like sometimes we’re too eager to leave people to figure things out by themselves just because it’s a lot of work to actually help them, human to human. None of us enjoy being treated that way when we need help.

I think the use of violence is complicated. I think people are too eager to let their anger dictate their behavior.

I also think that if you always turn the other cheek you’re allowing cruelty, and you won’t be the only one to suffer it at the hands of said cruelty.

I’m interested in what’s effective. I care about the outcome. I think kindness often has the outcome I want.

I also think that if you lived through the Nazi regime, you’d be justified in shooting Hitler. You’d be justified in taking up arms to protect your loved ones from persecution, or execution at the hands of a group that needs victims to fuel its political machine.

I’m not inclined to believe my anger always dictates the best course of action. I’m also not inclined to believe that my desire to be friends with everyone will always be enough to build a world that isn’t ruled by profound cruelty. I think those two ideas can co-exist.

I love that connection, it’s very much like the PBS of social media :)

It’s a rough time, not helped by how profoundly important politics is right now. And the more broken the state of things get, the more divided we become, and the harder it gets to look others in the eyes and be okay with what they’re supporting :(

I don’t think there’s any easy answer. But I do think it helps to confront people who are doing harm, and open sincere dialogue with people you disagree with (when theyre willing to engage in good faith. No point otherwise.) And try to understand how they got where they are, and share why you don’t agree with them

It does! Small changes over time can add up to incredible people skills and the ability to win hearts and minds ❤️

Thank you so much for the kind words my friend, I hope you have a lovely day!

I fuckin love the hear that, I hope we can foster even more of that. It can be so hard online but I really think it’s worth it. This space is only as good and as worthwhile as we make it ❤️

Active listening is a powerful skill!

Fuck yeah! I wasn’t familiar with that quote, that’s lovely! Thank you for sharing :)

I think given the existing culture of this space and the reasons people are drawn here it would be hard for that specifically to happen, but that’s not to say we won’t have our own cultural and platform challenges

I think in a worst case scenario we’re more at risk of growing toxic and unhealthy in a new and different way than 4chan did

Thank you for considering my thoughts ❤️. I think when our anger is justified and we are feeling less than kind is when kindness can have the biggest potential impact, and is most worth being proud of.

Undeserved compassion is a powerful thing. But I don’t think that means you can’t confront bullies and tell them their treatment of other people is unwelcome here. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive :)

Lmao, that’s honestly kinda hilarious to me

I am! Thank you for asking :)

Ive gotten a lot of assumptions about what I meant and that’s a bit frustrating but I really value honest sincere dialogue, if you have thoughts you think would be worth sharing I’d love to hear them my friend!

Its definitely fatiguing not gonna lie 🙃

Clearly I left it too ambiguous whether I meant Nazis specifically when I said you should try to approach people you disagree with with curiosity. That sounds super sarcastic but I don’t mean it that way, I just don’t have the energy to reword it

This problem probably could have been anticipated and avoided, it’s just hard to always do so perfectly on the internet when speaking to a lot of people you don’t know who will interpret what you say in any manner of different ways

I’m not sure I follow- Are you saying you think I want to set people’s stuff on fire and guillotine people, or that you think responders in this thread do?

Thank you friend, I really appreciate that!

Take care! ❤️