Harry Chapin

Or

Karen Carpenter

(I know, they’re kinda sappy but they were on my Playlist when I was young and in love.)

It’s not an utter fabrication. There are nieces. There are Chinese nieces. There are Chinese nieces who are kids. There are Chinese nieces who are kids and take naps. Ergo, there are Chinese niece kid nappings. There is a George Santos. See? All better. (Santos’s ‘Spinner-in-Chief,’ probably.)