Recently had to move back to my apartment cause I broke up with my bf. To start MOVING IS IMPOSSIBLE for many reasons, please don’t even ask.
Was hoping for a fresh start with the psychopaths who live below me. I did everything possible to gaslight myself into thinking it was all just a big misunderstanding and that there was hope to repair our relations.
Basically the first day, I had ptsd from before. I tried my hardest to tip toe the entire day, and to never walk quickly so that I don’t bother them (dress despite hearing them stomping and walking aggressively).
The entire time I am on edge because every time I make the smallest noise they counterattack it, doesn’t matter if it’s an accident or once per day. So basically my body and mind is always in a state of fight or flight, bracing itself constantly for a reaction.
Even then, I had to listen to them being noisy af. At one point I tried to turn on my tv on THE LOWEST VOLUME and it wasn’t in response to anything they did. They immediately but some vibrating device on and it kept buzzing it sounded like a drill but it was just a ceiling vibrator and I recorded it. They stopped since then I think they realized it’s too obvious or they could only use the plausible deniability to confuse it with some dude that was renovating for 5 minutes.
After 3 days have passed of living here, I’m realizing there seems to be no winning.
Basically their rules are, that they can make as much noise as they want, but if I make the tiniest noise I will be punished.
Not only that, but they also attack unprovoked. I feel like they are genuinely trying their absolute hardest to get a reaction out of me, it’s like their hobby or something. The third day I put my earplugs in, and even when I was COMPLETELY SILENT LYING ON THE COUCH FOR HOURS, they started escalating and they dropped a really heavy object to the point where the whole apartment building vibrated. They also hammer all day at random times including quiet hours but they do it really quietly, to the point where it’s legal. Like its enough to drive you literally insane.
They also randomly aggressively stomp and they also do stuff to imitate me. Like if I read something funny and laugh (im not obnoxious) right after they will slam stuff or stomp aggressively. Keep in mind I literally laughed once not like I’ve been annoying them 24/7.
Now everyone will try to gaslight me but there’s a lot more that proves they are doing it on purpose, and I’m NOT delusional or imagining things.
Is there actually nothing I can do? Like I don’t even think sueing them would help cause they’re not gonna move out.
I just don’t get why they’re doing it. I’m also worried about them framing me. I feel like most people in the apartment have already turned against me cause I’m the only foreigner who speaks with an accent here.
For example, once I tried going to different floors to see where the sound was coming from, and 2 different people complained immediately and reported me saying I’m “creepy” and “invading their space” and need to stop immediately or they’ll call the cops (I was a 26 year old girl at the time)…
They immediately threatened they would have a meeting with me and the property manager and the other 2 people to have a “talk” with me
I just don’t know wtf to do anymore and I don’t understand why I’m the target of everything
Make as much noise as you want.
Record the retaliation.After you have 2 or 3 go to your leasing office.
You have as much right to quiet enjoyment of your apartment as they do.
Probably don’t be a dick and make extra noise, but moderately loud TV and normal walking is not an issue.
I’m so sorry
This may be horrible advise but they are doing this because they can get away with it. You back down everytime they escalate things and they know it. They are afraid of consequences because they stoped the floor vibrator incase they got sued or the police came just not from you.
You need to stop backing down record the noises, get security cameras that record 24/7 if you can and get evidence to give to the landlord or the police.
Better yet get a family member or a friend who doesn’t mind conflict to hang out for a few nights a week and have them go and talk to them whenever they pull this bs. After a few times they will back off. It’s better to do this yourself but it sounds like you need to work on your confidence before you can do this yourself.
Change your thought patterns. Minimise their actions in your mind.
They are not “psychopaths”, they are just “idiots”.
They do not “counterattack”, there is no “attack” from your side. They are just “being a nuisance”. Frame all the bumps and thumps as renovations if you want.
When they make a noise, turn UP your tv, just a little, so you can hear it over it. “Gee those renovations of theirs are a bit noisy, maybe I should put in a complaint.”
When they rattle the ceiling of their apartment, “Hey it must be time to vacuum, thanks for reminding me. I’ll do it now while you’re renovating and making noise so it doesn’t disturb you too much”.
“I hear that plants respond to music so I’m just going to leave some on for Ferris, my pot plant, while I go out shopping for a few hours this morning” - Not too loud, just loud enough for Ferris to enjoy it. If you hear a lot of thumping it must be just them taking the opportunity to renovate while you can’t hear them. I do hope they don’t damage their ceiling with all that thumping while you’re out, oh well.
All that activity on their part takes a lot of energy, your activities take very little. Which one do you think is going to end first?
First, you should probably lessen with the therapy speak. This is a personal thing but the commodification of therapy is actually a huge problem that we should talk about. But I digress.
Second, maybe clarify this up a little bit? Are these people your roommates? Your upstairs neighbor? Downstairs? Next door? I genuinely don’t know who you’re talking about.
But (I’m assuming these are your up or downstairs neighbors?) I had a buddy who was in a similar situation where even the microwave beeping would cause the upstairs neighbor to thump on the floor. He just had to complain to the apartment complex a bunch (basically every time it happened, as it happened) and eventually they got it sorted. The upstairs neighbor stopped being annoying and moved out shortly after.
In an apartment you will hear your neighbors and it’s unrealistic to expect them to be perfectly silent all the time.
Go to the landlord and provide your account of what is happening. Document as much as you can, and stop trying to figure out why they are so upset. You’re not going to discover some hidden rational explanation, nor is that your responsibility. Protect yourself.
It sounds like you have a psycho living beneath you and they have one above them.
Go on the offensive, record every sound they make, catalog every interaction ,aggression,etc in a journal.
You live above them, you have the advantage in any sound based battle.
If they make noise record and report and then follow up on each of your reports. Call the leasing office every fucking day until its resolved.
To me it sounds like you may be assigning motives to things that aren’t as evil as you perceive. Just live your life and be a normal, respectful level of loud. You’re going to hear your neighbors in an apartment. Accept it and move on. Unless it’s past quiet hours and affecting your sleep I don’t think there’s much you can do, practically.
Are they confronting you in person or something? Have they said anything to you or do you just hear noises?
