I once made a guy I knew piss all over himself a couple of times, because I told him you can make yourself cum without touching yourself. I was just talking shit to see if he’d believe me or not.

He was furious and came up yelling " You made me piss all over myself, you lied it’s impossible" So I doubled down on it and he did it again.

I don’t know how many times he tried, he stopped telling me about it after a while.

He was an absolute fucking dumb piece of shit oxygen thief.

You just posted that you were physically abused as a child, no child should ever get back handed.

What of your post is ‘petty revenge you got away with’??

I have a friend who is constitutionally incapable of throwing things away, including the vast number of things she inherited from her mother who bought a second house to store her totally-not-a-hoarding-problem.

To get back at her for trying to foist some of them on my wife and I, I spend six months hiding Lego minifigs among her ornaments every time we visited her home.

Overly technical one.

I was trying to download a 700MB game ISO over ADSL in 2007 in Australia. The modem sync speed was 10Mb of the supposed 24Mb that ADSL could get.
It would take a while but Dad was also home doing whatever he did online slowing the download. As I was doing my CCNA at the time I thought it would be a fun idea to stop all TCP traffic to my dad’s PC so I could download the ISO faster and get to gaming.

About 10 min after configuring the modem dad asked if the internet is working for me and naturally it was but he could resolve DNS but not browse websites as they use TCP (this is pre Quic).

After my download finished I waited a bit longer and changed the modem settings back. I did this a couple times over the years before moving out.

A several years later when dad changed ISP he asked for my help to change the PPPoE details on the modem and he saw a disabled firewall rule called ‘Suck it dad’ and asked me what that was. So I told him, each time he had internet issues when he could resolve DNS but not access web pages it was me enabling that rule so I could download a game faster.

He wasn’t angry just annoyed that he never looked at the modem when trying to work out his connectivity issues.

Not me, but I read this post on a Confessions site: "I work at Starbucks. When a customer is rude to me, I give them decaf. "

Jackass that was a huge piece of crap for several years and repeatedly stole things was a part of a larger social group I was a part of. Used to gaslight and attempt sexual assault on most of the girls in the group too, and his various lies tended toward causing fights.

Literally got the chance and spent a weekend banging his (divorced) Mom.

Side irony: getting the chance like that to spend quality time with an attractive gal boosted my self image enough I was able to later make some of his hidden transgressions against that community apparent. Much of the group ostracized him, and the ones that didn’t fell away as they often were complicit… Grooming girls or equally abusive etc.

My grandma killed and ate my rabbit once, so now I go to her grave every now and then miss her deeply as I reminisce on the good times

I love how you got back at him. Firstly, chance of being discovered is close to zero. And since he’s already into hot sauce, he’d never admit that this one’s too much for him. So either he eats it all up and you get to revel in seeing his red face, or he throws it away and you got one over on him for preaching about food waste. Nice.